At least I know I'm overreacting...
When I was pregnant with Spencer we were so worried that something would go wrong that we waited, and waited and waited to buy things for him. To provide some context, I didn't pack my bag for the hospital until I was a week overdue and advised by my doctor to go directly from her office the hospital. In hindsight not the smartest thing I've done, but whatever...
One of the things I really wanted to do was knit him a sweater. It was a topic of discussion many times in our home and finally at about the 8-month mark I started knitting. I made him a perfectly lovely navy blue sweater with a shawl collar.
I've made him many things since then, but there was so much wrapped up in that sweater. It is so symbolic of a time when we were equally filled with hope and dread. With each stitch a prayer that we'd have a baby to wear the sweater. It meant a lot and he wore it as a 6-month-old, and he wore it over the weekend. Somehow it still fits and I love it -- or rather loved it.
I've asked our nanny several times to not wash hand knit items but she did anyway and ruined the sweater. It is now this tiny felted thing that might fit a stuffed animal. She feels terrible and I am devastated. I'd never let on how upset I am. It was an accident and my guess is she'll leave hand knits alone from now on. But still...
When I discovered the sweater my mother-in-law was over so I couldn't react how I wanted to react. Instead I couldn't stop thinking about it -- and kept feeling tears sting my eyes. I know it is only a sweater and intellectually I know it isn't such a big deal but it represents so much.
Here's a photo of Spencer at 7-months-old wearing the sweater his momma made with all her hopes and dreams. I'm so glad he came true.
One of the things I really wanted to do was knit him a sweater. It was a topic of discussion many times in our home and finally at about the 8-month mark I started knitting. I made him a perfectly lovely navy blue sweater with a shawl collar.
I've made him many things since then, but there was so much wrapped up in that sweater. It is so symbolic of a time when we were equally filled with hope and dread. With each stitch a prayer that we'd have a baby to wear the sweater. It meant a lot and he wore it as a 6-month-old, and he wore it over the weekend. Somehow it still fits and I love it -- or rather loved it.
I've asked our nanny several times to not wash hand knit items but she did anyway and ruined the sweater. It is now this tiny felted thing that might fit a stuffed animal. She feels terrible and I am devastated. I'd never let on how upset I am. It was an accident and my guess is she'll leave hand knits alone from now on. But still...
When I discovered the sweater my mother-in-law was over so I couldn't react how I wanted to react. Instead I couldn't stop thinking about it -- and kept feeling tears sting my eyes. I know it is only a sweater and intellectually I know it isn't such a big deal but it represents so much.
Here's a photo of Spencer at 7-months-old wearing the sweater his momma made with all her hopes and dreams. I'm so glad he came true.
posted by Sarah at
12:08 PM
2 Comments:
that would make me feel sick, too. that's a gorgeous kid, though!
Sarah,
Thanks for posting a comment on my blog. I appreciate your kind words and offer of support. Reading through your blog has already been so helpful to me. I meet with the Peri for my pre TTC consult in a couple of days and I will be asking her about infections because of what you've written about.
I also wanted to say that I completely understand how upset you are about the sweater. I'm sure I would be having a difficult time with it as well.
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