My favorite time of day

As we come to the end of winding down for the night, when the bath has been taken, books have been read and the dancing, oh the dancing, has stopped for the day, that's my favorite time.

We go in the guest room to nurse. We begin very actively, with Spencer wiggling around, pinching me, laughing with his mouth full. We are actively engaged with each other. I sing and stroke his head as the night gets more still and more quiet.

Soon he'll be gazing out the window, his breathing getting slower and deeper. That's when I find myself looking out the window too, lost in my own thoughts.

I watch him as he gets more settled in, eyes getting narrower, his movements less frenetic. He no longer pinches, but instead lays a hand on my arm or my chest or simply holds my hand. I tell him how wonderful he is, how much I love him while stroking his face or head. He'll grab my hand and hold it there or push it away. And soon, very soon, his eyes will close as he drifts to sleep.

After I unlatch him, we lay on the bed together, nose to nose. Him sleeping, me studying the lines of his face in the darkening light. I breathe in deeply catching a hint of sunscreen from an earlier park visit, or the smell of his shampoo if it is bath night.

I love that time of night as he settles into deeper and deeper slumber nestled in my arms before I move him to the crib and continue with my night. I stay there longer than I need to and relish the time when it is just the two of us and nothing else in the world matters. I love my boy.