Over

Fourth time, not so charming.

No heartbeat. Baby stopped growing at 7 weeks.

My doctor wasn't in so we saw a new doctor. She was very sweet, giving her spiel I'm sure she gives to all parents who just miscarried. Sadly we probably have more first hand knowledge than she does about losing pregnancies. Really I just wanted to know if there was anything we needed to do/know before I speak to my doctor today. And, no, I don't think it was my fault.

I haven't heard from my doctor yet today. I'm sure the second I leave my desk she will call. I hope I can get a D&C scheduled as soon as possible. She doesn't work again until next Tuesday and I don't really want to wait until then. I considered a natural miscarriage for half a second and I don't think I can bear waiting what could be weeks for this to be over with. Plus I've heard it can be very painful and to be honest, this hurts enough.

I'm sad that mother's day is just around the corner and I'm reminded of just how astonishingly bad my odds have been for conceiving and carrying babies. I suspect we've gotten our one and only lucky break in this department and fortunately he's more than enough to make our family complete.

This sucks.