If I ever, I'll never
Dear woman flying with toddler on the United flight from DC to LA today, I can't thank you enough for giving me some important tools once I become a mother. In your honor, I'm creating a list of things I'll never do if I ever become a mom.
1. Don't change your child's poopy diaper at your seat. There's a changing table in the bathroom for a reason. Also, stashing the dirty diaper in the vomit bag doesn't make the smell go away -- it just forces your neighbors to fill their own vomit bags. Blech.
2. Don't bring along a portable DVD player and turn the speakers on 11. If I can hear it from where I'm sitting, your kid will have hearing loss in no time.
3. When asked questions about your child don't anwer "I'm one and a half" because you are not.
I have a feeling this will become a really, really long list.
1. Don't change your child's poopy diaper at your seat. There's a changing table in the bathroom for a reason. Also, stashing the dirty diaper in the vomit bag doesn't make the smell go away -- it just forces your neighbors to fill their own vomit bags. Blech.
2. Don't bring along a portable DVD player and turn the speakers on 11. If I can hear it from where I'm sitting, your kid will have hearing loss in no time.
3. When asked questions about your child don't anwer "I'm one and a half" because you are not.
I have a feeling this will become a really, really long list.
posted by Sarah at
6:58 PM
1 Comments:
"When I am on a three hour flight with an adult companion and a two year old, I will make sure that one of us stays awake to supervise said two year old, rather than having both of us pass out cold the second the plane's wheels are off the ground."
"I will not let my child climb up the back of someone else's seat and tangle their gummy little fingers in another passenger's hair."
"When flying Southwest, I will always arrive two hours early for my flight and preboard, rather than show up five minutes before the plane leaves, discover there are no more seats together and disperse my whingy children far and wide throughout the plane, to be cared for by innocent bystanders who did not sign up to be unpaid babysitters."
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