Oh yes, she does

I think this post belongs here vs. my other mostly empty blog. I normally don't write about family but this needs some space outside my head because it makes it hard for me to breathe.

My mother-in-law is a little socially awkward. Whenever something comes up we figure out how she'll make it about her. She never disappoints. She has made quite an effort to spend time with Spencer and it has really paid off. Every other week she comes in the afternoon and stays until dinner then helps clean up which means I get to spend time with her too.

Last visit we were in the kitchen cleaning up. My cousin is about to have a baby and we've been loading them up with baby gear. Like it or not, we're done. We tried really hard for a bigger family and it isn't in the cards. She knows we're done, I guess she just doesn't like it.

Anyway, we were talking about handing off the gear and she said "that really disappoints me, I wanted you guys to have more kids." I told her that wasn't going to happen. She said "but I really want a granddaughter. I wanted you guys to have a baby girl." No one ever acknowledges the baby we lost so I put it out there. I said "the baby we lost was a girl." She answered, and it is almost too awful to write, "but that doesn't count." I answered "it does to us."

I don't even know what to do with that. I know if I said something to her now she'd have no idea what she said to offend me. It won't change a thing about her and instead will just give her an opportunity to make this about her and how awkward it makes her feel. I can't imagine how my husband grew up with someone like her. I honestly don't think anyone has ever said something so awful to me.