It can all be traced back to this one moment

The boy had his first victory since he's decided to be a wee contrarian.

He goes to class with Poppa on Wednesday afternoons. Or rather he did until yesterday. He said no, he cried, said no again and got away with it. Poppa ended up leaving Spencer with our nanny and off they went to the park. Two adults got bowled over by one tiny munchkin. When we look back and wonder when we completely lost control, this will be the moment we can pinpoint.

It is great because we can blame Poppa and our nanny. I'm not sure who we can blame for the fact that we can't get him to stop hitting no matter what we do. He's got it down. He hits, then rubs where he hit you saying "niiiiiice" not unlike Borat. It is kind of hilarious, except for the hitting part. That's not funny at all. But the Borat part? Funny as hell -- that alone is worth getting struck.

He's almost two and we're in big trouble!

Insane and apparently stupid

So my devil may care dive into the next round of clomid was perhaps a bit shortsighted. When I talked to my doctor we discussed next cycle coming in on day 12 and doing an ultrasound and giving me a trigger shot if there was a follie. With the momentum of the swinging pendulum behind me I suggested that maybe we should try that THIS month. That I'd make an appointment and see her in a week and, and, and...

Something occured to me last night. My husband? Gone next week.

So not only does it not make sense to trigger on day 12, it didn't make sense to take clomid at all this month. I think he's back on day 15 so maybe we have a chance but unlikely.

I'll be so surprised when the clomid experiment fails. I'm such a moron.

Pizza

A new Sunday evening tradition for the boys.

Wildly swinging pendulum

I'm stopping by the pharmacy to pick up another round of clomid to start tonight.

I'm insane.

Already taking a break

So the doomed cycle was, indeed, doomed. I was supposed to get a blood draw 7 days after ovulation but that was on a Saturday -- and of course day three is today, Monday, and my doctor doesn't work today. Instead of dealing with the frustrating/aggravating task of trying to get a prescription filled I'm just going to sit this month out.

I'm feeling so conflicted about another baby. I'm so madly in love with my son and our family and it really would be fine to stop now. But in the same breath, I want another one, I just don't know how hard I'm willing to try.

We were paid a very big complement by a family friend. He's a very thoughtful, sensitive guy and he's always trying to figure out how you really are. He asked lots of questions and said, you guys have it all -- you are living in the moment. You aren't looking for a new house or new jobs, you are happy with what you have. So true, and yet...

I'm due for my annual check up next month so I think I'll make an appointment, really talk about how successful/unsuccessful she thinks we'll be and leave with a prescription in hand. I already know that the next steps involve seeing in RE and I think we'll probably decide to be done at that point. I guess the thing is how do you know when it is time to pack in the sticks?